sleepless

i thought everything will end once i break up with bing..but it dun seem that way ..i feel in my heart that i need her lot lot lot beside me right now..it make me look like an idiot..because after a day of hectic i still can awake missing her till 4 in the morning..well more stupid is i call chen long and talk to him ..telling him to help me pursuade bing and all this crap..after talking to him..i feel so stupid and then i quickly go and sleep before i go sleepless again..today wake up see my handphone no message..then i know how irresponsible is she..breaking someone heart and dun intend to cure it..well why do i love someone that dun even take a damn bout my feeling..i really wanted to tell those i trusted..but it seem like my mind is blank when i think of "trusted fren"..no one really in my heart where i can cried my heart out to them..then shea yen online..i am quite happy to see her..even thought i am just playing with her..but it seem everytime she could be able to brighten my day ..she also another totally diff from bing..she from an obstacle family and very well in thinking unlike naive bing..sometime i said why got dun let me meet her earlier than bing..i might really fell in love with her..but till now she just an online fren which cannot be counted really close but anyhow what she did somehow more than what bing did for me..which i laugh at myself once again for acting such an idiot..such useless gf..why shud i think of her so much ..maybe it is time to forget everything..i really shud know that whats the point calling chen long..as if he can change anything..since he is much worst than me ..and he love bing..i dun think he will help me in anyway ..everyone!!! i am total trash...