well..first date with shea yen yesterday ..mm..she got nothing diff from what i expected in my imagination which i am quite satisfied..but i am really sorry toward her that our first date is to go emily's birthday party..where she have to sit there and boring..hahha..sorry dear..be honest to myself..i dun find myself really like her that much ..well maybe all this really take lot of time to make thing happen..i also looking forward for that very day ..other than emily party..there is another party going in bing house..a farewell party..not to be such a small heart guy..victoria call me up whether i am going a not..she is such an asshole..dun she be more logical a bit??..after what that bitch do to me..u think i will farewell for her arh??and i said i dunno bout that party (which i lied) she scolded me for that..i like what the fuck happen with u!!!..well anyhow..the first date with shea yen i dun wan to think so much bout bing anymore..think bout her make me vomit ..i hope she go to russia tomorrow or better , NOW..then me and her issue will be gone..lost and turn into ash..i am so humiliate by her..i wish i never met her b4..i go through zhen blog..and she describe her as such a perfect woman...i am quite okay with sum,.but a perfect GF!!!what the hell..!!! if he be anyone GF..that guy is so unlucky..making ppl fall into her is because she is such a bitch god damn it !!! fuck!!!..thats all..i guess u this bloggy onli place for me to voice out what i cant say in reality world..from time to time..i start to leave my old schoolmate and into a world of my own ...i rather be lonely be a away..rather than being cheated and being humilated..all the effort to my study and to my love wan ...be honest i really cant love shea yen all my heart..i cant do that..really sorry ..after what bing done..i really scare liow..i cant believe i fell into so deeply hole..just give me some time to climb back up..